These Kids Toys Are Annoying

By Renzo Guevara
These Kids Toys Are Annoying
Who doesn’t love toys? I remember the only reason why I wanted to go to the mall was to visit the toy store and Lord help the person who tries to get me out of there especially when I want to buy something. Kids LOVE those things. Us grown ups?

Hahaha… sure?

Okay fine, kids will be kids and some of the toys I’ll be talking about here are fun to play with but if you have to be the person to listen, witness, and clean up during and after play sessions? We might have a problem here kiddos.

Squeaky Shoes

These are undeniably cute. Imagine a child running at you with a smile on its face with it’s adorable little feet making squeaks with every step. But, what if it’s all you hear all day long? Or what if you’re trying to be quiet in a church and as you walk down the seat hoping to God no one notices your existence, squeak, squeak, squeak comes to ruin your sneak master plan. They’re a fun novelty but not something you would want to be with all the time.

Furbies

Fun little colorful gremlins that talk, sing, and dance. Perfect for children right? It’s all fun and games until the child wants to collect all colors and sizes and now you have an army of hairy creatures with big eyes and ears just randomly popping up in your home. Sometimes they even activate on their own without anyone touching them. One small tweak and these things are the stuff of nightmares. They’re alive man, I swear.

Any toy instrument

Musical talent can either be learned or it just naturally comes out. The earliest sign you can detect this from is to give a child a toy drum set or a guitar or a flute. Children love loud noises especially when they’re the ones who make it themselves. Here you are dreaming that your child will be an award winning piano performer in the future only to be woken up at 7am with a tune that can only be described as a DJ slamming their hands on every single button they see.

Slime, Clay, Crayons, markers, etc.

A child’s imagination is something we should all empower. Let your kid’s creativity run wild and free! Some of the most famous concepts today came from a child’s mind. Slime and clay allows them to make whatever they want however they want, wherever they want. Yes, that is both a pro and a con. Good luck cleaning up. And those coloring and writing materials? I hope your boss accepts the reason why his contract has dinosaurs on it.

Baby Alive

Alright, this may not be the most famous but hear me out. If you saw this on TV before, you know what I’m talking about. A baby doll that’s literally designed to act as if it’s a real thing. Some of the toy’s accessories involve fake food, poop, diapers, vomit, pee, etc. It cries at random times and it makes different facial expressions. And you thought furbies were scary?

It’s just a toy.

To be fair, I am (more or less) an adult now as I write this and some of the things I listed here do give genuine happiness to kids. Maybe us oldies just find it harder to see the fun part.

Extended shout outs to legos, action figures, water guns, nerf guns, cards, and hot wheels. All extremely cool but can cause serious damage, pain, and a pretty big mess to the people around.

Maybe it’s just the grown man in me talking. I used to think getting a new Optimus Prime was the peak of my existence and now here I am getting excited over new pairs of socks.

Make sure you’re heard. Let’s work together.